Archive for February, 2011

OK, we’re convinced

February 9, 2011

After reading that she’s talking about hiring staff in Iowa, we now believe that Michele Bachmann actually IS running for president. Good luck with THAT, lady. When/if reporters start googling for your numerous verbal gaffes, we’ll be here.

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Bachmann calls to de-fund Planned Parenthood

February 8, 2011

She probably wants that all the time, actually, but some (other) right-wing nutjob gave her an excuse by trying to “sting” a Planned Parenthood office in New Jersey. As MNIndy says:

Bachmann was referring to a video released by LiveAction, an anti-abortion group that specializes in ambushing Planned Parenthood clinics, that appears to show a Planned Parenthood staffer in New Jersey telling a pimp and his prostitute how to obtain services for girls as young as 14.

“Live Action has turned its video over to law enforcement authorities, including U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder,” Bachmann said in a statement. “I am calling on those authorities to fully investigate this case and to prosecute any offenders to the fullest extent of the law.”

But Planned Parenthood beat LiveAction to it. After the group, posing as a pimp and prostitute showed up at a half-dozen clinics across the country, Planned Parenthood called the FBI to report a potential sex-ring involving minors.

And, the group fired the staffer in New Jersey who provided advice on circumventing the law.

So it’s a non-story, but it’s the newest excuse for evangelicals to try to squelch family planning services. Individual liberty: very important for people who are buying light bulbs, but not for women making major life decisions!

Bachmann proposes cuts to veterans’ services

February 7, 2011

She’s happy enough to send other people’s kids to FIGHT in wars, but apparently it’s too expensive to take care of them when they come home with injuries. This is all to avoid raising the debt ceiling. We suppose it’s good that conservatives are thinking about defense as cut-able at all, but we personally prefer NOT to balance the budget on the backs of wounded veterans. Then again, we’re talking about a woman who defines freedom as the ability to buy incandescent light bulbs.

By the way, she mentioned the light bulb thing again in the speech she made to the wall the night of the SOTU speech, so PolitiFact fact-checked it and rated it “barely true.” Congrats, Congresswoman, on finally making a controversial claim that is not outright false! Too bad you’re still a douchebag who wants to create more homeless veterans so you can pay less in taxes!

EDIT: The Strib said Feb. 4 that she’s backing down on this. Turns out that pissing off anyone who’s ever served in the military, and all of their friends and families, has a downside.

GOP reaction to Bachmann’s speech: poor to very poor!

February 6, 2011

That’s the gist of this column by former White House correspondent Margaret Carlson. The column has several other amusing tidbits, including the revelation that Bachmann won’t comment because she’s working on district issues… in Hawaii. Also, Carlson points out that Bachmann may have been put on the House Intelligence Committee because there are no cameras on its meetings for security reasons. So it’s not just for irony! But the best part about there being no cameras on Bachmann’s committee meetings is that it disincentivizes her from showing up even more.

Other conservatives are apparently also unhappy with Bachmann’s attention whoring, although Jason Chaffetz had to take it back with a BS excuse. Other Republicans went anonymous to make basically the same joke we just did about the Intelligence Committee.

Bachmann doesn’t go through TSA scanners…

February 5, 2011

because she thinks naked pictures of her will end up on the Internet. Look, lady, no one wants to see you naked. Roughly 40% of your district doesn’t want to see you at ALL.

Bachmann heading to South Carolina for apparent presidential groundwork

February 4, 2011

Thus sayeth Politico. We are beginning to take this presidential campaign seriously. Not seriously like we think she could get elected, but we now think it’s possible that SHE thinks she could get elected. Progressives are mostly delighted at the idea, so that should give you some clue about what people think are her chances. We are still holding on to our “run for Senate idea” (imagine Bachmann alone in a room with Al Franken — AWKWARD!), but it’s possible that she really thinks she can overcome her perfect no-truth-telling record with fact-checkers, the disapproval of her own party and her inability to get a majority vote in Minnesota. We look forward to seeing evangelical dollars disappear down THAT black hole.

(PSST! Bachmann! There are black people in South Carolina! Don’t take Steve King or he might try to deport them!)

Bachmann: the Founding Fathers ended slavery!

February 3, 2011

“But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States,” Bachmann added, claiming “men like John Quincy Adams… would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country.”

This may come as a surprise to anyone who has finished the third grade. For our underage and foreign readers: John Quincy Adams was the grandson of a founder of our country, so he wasn’t there at the time, and the Civil War era was when slavery was officially abolished. Here’s a blog at the Guardian UK with it, plus the Los Angeles Times, although an opinion columnist there wonders if there’s even any point in fact-checking her, since neither the media nor voters seem to punish her for lying.

Catching up with our inadvertent comedian

February 3, 2011

We have been remiss in our Bachmann-tracking duties, mainly because we have a life. This past week had no shortage of Bachmann coverage, thanks to her SOTU address. We didn’t actually get a chance to watch it, not that we would have anyway, but thanks to televised comedy, we already know that Bachmann had trouble facing the camera. Very presidential! In fact, even Meghan McCain, professional opinion-haver, noted it (while also calling Bachmann “a poor man’s Sarah Palin,” which is almost an insult to the poor).

Annoyingly, none of these embed codes actually seem to embed. We had to fix the Comedy Central stuff to even get links. FAIL.

SNL (which actually made us laugh twice, a rarity with SNL):
http://widget.nbc.com/videos/nbcshort_at.swf?CXNID=1000004.10045NXC&widID=4727a250e66f9723&clipID=1279586&showID=61&siteurl=http://www.nbc.com?vty=fromWidget_Video

The Daily Show’s Olivia Munn makes some of the same points:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
State of the Union 2011 – Correspondent Rebuttal
www.thedailyshow.com
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:372306
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> The Daily Show on Facebook

Jon Stewart’s evaluation:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
State of the Union 2011 – Republican Rebuttal
www.thedailyshow.com
http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:372305
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> The Daily Show on Facebook

Conan:
http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=bestoftv/2011/01/27/conan.bachmann.tea.party.tbs

The Los Angeles Times, from which we got the Conan clip, said: “The slip-up was monumentally distracting and did little to counter Bachmann’s image as a loose cannon. It’s safe to say the Republicans won’t be calling on her to deliver their official response next year.” It went on to say that Bachmann’s speech could still be considered a success if the goal was to get attention for Bachmann. When is that NOT her goal, LA Times?